Designer Snark

So I gave up being “snarky” for the month of November. It was a positive experience for sure, but not overly successful. I only fell short of couple of times before Thanksgiving. During the Thanksgiving weekend, my family gave me a bye because they agreed the snark-free me wasn’t as much fun. Then, well the last week was a little shaky, because once you dive back in, let’s face it, it’s hard to get out in the cold.

The whole adventure reminded of the designer sunglasses I inadvertently stole. It started during a visit to a family event in Illinois. I was leaving my brother’s house and noticed a pair of designer sunglasses left behind. I asked who they belonged to, and no one claimed them so I assumed they belonged to Fasionista Daughter, who left just moments earlier. So I grabbed them to get them back to her. I returned to Oklahoma, she was in NYC, but I knew we would eventually connect. When I told her I had retrieved her glasses, she informed me they weren’t hers. Oops. After some investigation we discovered they belonged to my niece’s (Smarty Pants) friend who had also visited.  SOOOO I found the young lady on Facebook and sent her a message explaining that I had mistakenly taken her sunglasses and I would be happy to mail them to her. She was gracious and said to just get them to Smarty Pants, and she could get them back to her when they saw each other again. Problem was I kept forgetting to bring them when I went to visit Smarty Pants. Again I offered to mail them to her, and again she said no problem – just get them to Smarty Pants. It was then, after we had some fun chatting, that I confessed to her I had actually worn the sunglasses a few times, although I was always very mindful and wore them carefully because I recognized their worth. She laughed, told me to enjoy them, and that the glasses were given to her by Oprah when she visited the Oprah Show. WHAT? OMG, I have to get these glasses back to this poor woman. They’re worth even more than I thought.

Finally weeks (maybe months) later, I remembered to bring the glasses to Smarty Pants, and I have to say I was relieved to be rid of the burden of guilt. I was set free.

Just a few weeks later I was looking for something in my special box where I keep receipts and other important things and I was astonished to find THE DESIGNER SUNGLASSES. Wait, what? Evidently I don’t know how, but I brought the wrong pair of glasses to Smarty Pants. I remembered I had a similar pair of really cheap $5.00 glasses. Talk about embarrassed. So once again I messaged my new friend and confessed my sin. Of course she already knew that I returned the wrong pair, but didn’t have to heart to tell me. At that point she decided perhaps I was meant to have the designer glasses, and she insisted I keep them.

My snarkiness is very much like those glasses. I can have every right intention, but I just can’t seem to make it go away. My snarkiness is meant to be. It’s who I am – not everyone has “Designer Snarkiness” – I just need to be mindful and wear it carefully.


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